An introduction to the women’s world
Every man that might end up here and starts rolling his eyes now, before you click away just stay for a while, tag along and read carefully because you might learn something new. This is not – solemnly – going to be a rant but more an elaboration, an introduction into our world because men and women live in two different ones. And I’m not talking about that Venus-Mars stuff but how we experience the actual world. I would say “sorry” if I do start to rant at some point but honestly? I am not sorry at all, why should I? I have every right to be angry at this point just as every other woman. We’ve been silent for so long, it is enough! But let me try to explain in a peaceful manner why we need feminism.
I didn’t mean to post write about this already but after a conversation with my friend living close to Agadir, I had to. She told me about a guy running around sexually harassing European women and even nearly raping a German, she luckily got away and went to the police but sadly this story goes just as expected. The police officers laughed in her face and then interrogated her as if she was the culprit. My friend, my husband and I all agree she should go to the embassy. Whoever wants to point fingers now should first look in front of their own door, because this is nothing shocking to any woman in this world this happens in nearly, if not even every, country in this world. There is a reason we had the slut walk and honestly we should still have it, it is still accurate and needed. Often enough it is seen as the woman’s fault, why did she wear those tight jeans? Why was she out at that time? Why was she in the room with that guy?
If you think it is because of the way women dress then please tell me why women wearing a burqa get raped? Or why does it happen no matter which time of the day? Or no matter how old a girl or woman is? And why so many rapists or sexual abusers are actually family members or close friends?
It is NEVER the victims’ fault! Period!
Feminism goes so much further than this and is so much more. It is not only about consent, but it is also about equality. It’s not about oppressing now men but having the same rights as them but also them having the same rights as we do. It is about women being able to go as far in their careers as men do and earn the same amount, it is about men being allowed to be the ones who stay at home if wanted. Basically, it’s not just about equality but freedom. The freedom to choose on both sides. Why do people actually care in the first place? If somebody could answer me this question, that would be really great!
And by far it’s not about the physical equality, because that’s naturally just not necessarily possible even though if wanted I am pretty sure there are some badass athletes that wish they could kick a man’s ass in an official tournament but it is about social equality for BOTH!
To understand the difference between a woman’s world and a man’s world let’s just go through some social pressure, normal fear and sexist behavior women have to go through most likely on a daily basis.
Right now we’re living in a society that got so radical that as a woman you need to have a career, you need to be successful but not too successful, because you can’t take over that amount of responsibility since you’re too emotional and unstable for that, we need real men in that position. Plus you need the time to be there for your family, I mean you have to have at least one child right? But not too early, no, when your career is established but make sure it is the right timing because you barely get maternity leave (in some countries none at all) and even if you get it longer then your position won’t necessarily be reserved for you. What? You are 35 and single? You don’t want a man, because you don’t have time for that? But you need to get married I mean don’t you hear your clock ticking? You will die as an old lonely virgin! But if I see at your non-sexy clothes I know why you’re single but don’t you dare wear anything besides that, because then you’re the office slut but you know? You had to sleep with the boss anyways to get into that position.
Let’s forget about work. It’s time for a ladies night out! So fun! Well, kinda, because there are 5 guys in the row in front of the club who already catcalled and was that a hand on your ass? At least just that, because that guy in the corner of that club keeps eyeing you so weirdly. Where is a friend? You don’t wanna go to the restrooms alone! First have to ex this drink, because you can’t just leave it alone and don’t wanna waste that money. I guess that were already 5 or 10 hands on your ass just on the way to the restrooms. But let’s talk about the guy at the bar that won’t accept a no and he is huge! Did he just say he should just fuck you right here?! Luckily he ended up still going away. Maybe that’s it for today. Let’s go home but you and your friends have to part for the last bit till you’re there. Let’s keep talking on the phone or call another friend, it’s safer. I mean there could be a guy behind that garbage container. Oh! That’s a dark corner. Shit! There are a group of drunk teenage guys. Still on the phone with the friend? Check! Keys between your fingers? Check! Fast and determined walk with a bitch face, so they can’t tell your scared? Check! Finally home! Well, that was a nice ladies night! Nothing unusual! Yay!
Is that enough? I can keep going on. Did you know there is a term called “rape anxiety”? Did you know that nearly every woman in this world either was a victim of sexual harassment or know at least one other woman, who was one? Did you know that is an actual topic we talk quite a lot about? Do you even realize how often probably nearly every woman was already scared just by seeing a particularly huge guy or a group of teen boys in their 17s while being alone? The domestic violence numbers are extremely high, every third day is a woman killed in Germany by her partner! I can’t count the moments I was shitting my pants even during the day, because of men. And not just because I am living in Morocco. I had literally once in my whole time here an incident with a weird cab driver but nothing ever happened and I know how extremely lucky I am!
Don’t ever tell us again we have no right to be angry because we do! Because we need this anger to finally fuel change!
There was a twitter thread once asking women what they would do if all men wouldn’t be allowed on the streets past 9 p.m. and all answers included a normal life. How they were finally able to go for a run without being afraid, how they could ride her bike home from work or walk!
If you need another aspect of life, let’s talk about how we need feminism in medicine! Women need longer until they get pain medicine because they are seen as whinier. No talking about childbirth where a debate about consent is long needed. Just because a woman is pregnant or in labor doesn’t mean she has no rights over her body anymore but that’s how she is often treated as if we wouldn’t be able to decide what is right or wrong. I’m a huge advocate of more power to women during labor. A woman was literally born to do that but men made it so unnatural that even women often don’t believe in themselves anymore. Let them decide the position, let them walk around and move during labor, let them have skin-to-skin and have them decide if they wanna breastfeed or not! Did you know that in the view of medicine you need to dilate 1 cm per hour? Well, the body is not a Swiss clockwork but more a Moroccan bus, it doesn’t care about time and will do it in whichever time it is able to do it. As long as the baby and the mother are safe, leave them be! Did you also know that you do not even need to check the dilation of the cervix? Medicine is great and it made birth so much safer but it didn’t stop there and that is the problem we’re having today and why so many women have PTSD from their birth experience. If you don’t see how women are not listened to you should consider googling Serena Williams birth story, one of the most popular examples, otherwise you can read about my two biggest misdiagnosis here and see why we next to feminism also need to learn to listen to our bodies again.
No! Men are not living in the same world as women. Not at all. And that is okay, good for them but stop saying it is our fault that you can’t behave. You are so privileged you are scared of our power but you know what? We don’t care anymore! All we’ll do is roar louder! And you should roar with us! I can’t believe not more men are feminists actually. Shouldn’t it bug you that you are seen as an animal that can’t control itself? That we treat you as if your brain is stuck in the cavemen era? I guess power and greed eradicate every care you could ever have. There are great men and feminists out there but this is still a patriarchy. And just like the zoo lioness killed the lion and father of her cubs, our anger fuels us and we’re not willing to take any crap anymore. It’s time we take over and let those men that oppressed us get the punishment they deserve. The rest of you guys is very welcome to take some cookies though and enjoy a wonderful time!
Small disclaimer: I am a white woman and acknowledge that in this debate we also need to talk about black feminism and let those women raise their voice, too as their experience is different and I am not able to speak for them. I also acknowledge that there is discrimination in this debate against black women. If you are a woman of color and are interested in writing a guest post, please contact me.
Literally, everybody else, comment! Tell your story and share your view on feminism in the comments! I know there are so many aspects I didn’t even think of, so please add them when sharing your thoughts.